Naptime

After spending The Boy’s first few weeks of school being very productive, I decided that I needed to slow down and start taking care of myself; something I have been neglecting these past five years.  I feel like my life has been on fast-forward, especially these past two years, and I have been having a hard time slowing down.

I am so used to having both children with me at all times, and all the demands that places on me.  But now The Boy is in school, and The Girl is so happy and easy that she just toddles around and plays most of the time.  I can actually get things done, like laundry and cleaning the bathroom, but I can also sit and read a book.  At first I felt guilty about it.  Like I should be productive or working, or earning money.  But I have released my guilt.  I have no use for guilt, and now I am giving myself permission to relax.  My time will come to get back in the moneymaking game, but for now, I need to take care of me, even if it is just for an hour a day.  And right now, an hour a day seems so enormous.

My energy has been low these past few weeks, and I realized that being on my feet all day every day is just not good for me.  Just as a body needs sleep, it also needs rest.  So I have finally given myself permission to be totally selfish and take The Girl’s naptime for myself.   This was something I used to enjoy when The Boy was a baby.  It’s so wonderful to be able to just stop moving and sit down in the middle of the day.

I have taken to making a cup of tea, sitting in the most comfortable chair in the house, and knitting while listening to Alan Watts or This American Life.  And it is so wonderful for me on so many levels.