Simplicity Parenting

I love this book.  No other parenting book has ever spoken to me in a way that so completely embodies the kind of parent I want to be.  I read through it, marking many, many pages, and I plan to go through it again with a fine tooth comb, so to speak.

I don’t really read a lot of parenting manuals anymore.  Lately I try to just follow my instincts.  This book filled me with ideas on how to create more tranquility in our home.  And every family could use more of that, especially those with a boisterous boy like mine.

I knew I was onto something big when I got to chapter four: Rhythm. No kidding.  After all the talk in my life about finding my rhythm, there is a whole chapter on it in this book.

The whole concept of the book is well, simple.  Simplifying toys, schedules, diet, information, choices.  I’ve already pulled out a bunch of toys from the kids’ room, and they weren’t even missed.  We didn’t really have a lot to begin with because our children share a very small room, and we have to keep it pared down in there.  I have always fought tooth and nail to keep out the plastic, the flashing, and the beeping toys.

I’m already seeing how when children are offered too many choices, it can be overwhelming.  We have a drawer full of cheap crayons.  There are hundreds of them in there, all broken and half-peeled.  The Girl received a nice set of Lyra beeswax crayons for christmas, and they are gorgeous.  The colors are intense, they feel velvety smooth on paper, and they are simply a delight to use and hold.  And there are only ten of them.  These crayons sit in the art bin, on a shelf accessible by the kids.  But these crayons are treated with a little more respect because they have a special place, they are used with loving intention, and they are not just thrown in a drawer with hundreds of others.  I think this is a good example of what Kim John Payne is trying to say in his book.  A hundred broken crayons in a drawer aren’t important.  Ten beautiful crayons in a beautiful oak box are.

Here’s how Kim John Payne describes it in Chapter one, “Why Simplify?”

What we “see,” what we bring our attention and presence to, is at the heart of who we are.  And for our children, it is at the heart of who they are becoming.  Why simplify?  Because by simplifying our children’s lives we can remove some of the stresses of too-much and too-fast that obstruct their focus and interfere with an emotional baseline of calm and security.  A little grace is needed, after all, for them to develop in to the people they’re meant to be, especially in a world that is so constantly bombarding them (and us) with the distractions of so many things, so much information, speed, and urgency.  These stresses distract from the focus or “task” of childhood: an emerging, developing sense of self.

I really cannot say enough wonderful things about this book.  It sits on a shelf next to my copy of Buddhism for Mothers.